For years, the saxophone of Kenny G has graced malls and elevators all over the affluent areas of Los Angeles. The lower crime rates, superior landscaping, architecture, and air quality of these areas evidence the benefits that exposure to smooth saxophone has on the populace. There is a palpable smoothening of society in places where Kenny G is most prevalent.
West side residents have long horded all the Kenny G, leaving those in east and south Los Angeles literary starving for smooth jazz. We can no longer allow this social injustice to continue.
I propose that we finally bring the classic albums G-Force, Duotones, Silhouette, Breathless, The Moment, Classics in the Key of G, Paradise, and At Last...The Duets Album to the underprivileged, as well as expanding access to these albums in affluent areas.
We shall do this by creating a citywide PA network. Composed of hundreds of 8.1 DTS surround sound speakers, the system will produce a wave field synthesis of Kenny's greatest hits 24 hours a day, seven days a week throughout the entire city of Los Angeles.
Crime will drop dramatically. Who could stand to kill to the sounds of Kenny noodling aimlessly over the beats of a Yamaha DX7? Who could stand to steal to the feathery sounds of a heart-wrenching tenor sax solo?
We can accomplish citywide Kenny G in less than ten years with no more than an .8 percent increase in the city sales tax. Given heretofore unforeseen technological improvements, that schedule may even prove beatable.
Kenny Gorelick is a human right.
Thank you.
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