Remote Control Duck

Wandering along the LA river, I almost invariably stumble upon a duck or two.

I talk to the ducks like a madman. They're the only ones who will listen anymore.

I read somewhere that scientists plugged electrodes into the brains of rats and were able to direct the rat's movements by firing the electrodes from remote control. The story made me very happy. I get a real kick out of scientists and their experiments, especially when the push the envelope of decency.

The story also made me think: what about a remote-control duck? I would like to have one. I would perform a series of basic flight maneuvers with my duck. See if it could do a barrel roll. Loop-de-loops. See if I could put my duck into a flat spin at 45,000 feet and then pull out of it. What is a duck's ceiling, anyway? What kind of g's can a duck pull? Maybe I could construct a head-up display around my duck's head, and have a 3-D flight helmet from which to experience my duck's maneuvers.

Furthermore, a duck is an ideal animal for land-sea operations, with its water-landing and diving capabilities. What kind of surface speed can a duck manage? To what depth can a duck dive?

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